A Nigerian man by name Rosanwo Babatunde, took to social media to share the story of how his wife abused him severally for years.
Unfortunately, women and children are commonly the most affected when it comes to domestic abuse and men who get abused at home hardly talk about it due to either ego or the fear of being seen as a weakling.
The case of Rosanwo is one out of a few men who found the courage to share their pain. The young man, who stays in the UK with his wife and children, was almost deported by his wife, who aside abusing him, plotted for him to be sent back to Nigeria.
He also talked about his wife’s callous attitudes, false accusations, abuse from his mother-in-law and other unspeakable things he faced.
Read the story of Rosanwo below:
“Kept quiet for too long, hoping to salvage the situation. Sometimes this week I will bare it all including the question of my marriage. I have thought about my sons for so long but I have come to realize I have to speak up for me. I will explain to them when they are of age.
“We endure, we protect who we once claimed to love but when they see no reason to reciprocate, we have no choice. A marriage of verbal & physical abuse in the hands of in-laws then the spouse. About time I speak up for myself.
“Over the last 20 months I have been through hell, at least I have the right to express what I endured. There are 2 sides to a coin.
“More than often, it is very easy to label a man as the aggressor in DV cases, where the woman is the culprit, the man suffers in silence. I will be speaking up cos I could have easily ended up in jail based on false accusations of DV by the spouse to cover her tracks of DV.
“Maybe more men will stop suffering in silence and speak out when they experience DV than seeking to protect their abuser. Absolutely nothing to hold back on, from a DV victim to survivor, you just wonder what is coming your way next.
“This whole idea of don’t do this here is why some take advantage of others to use public space to destroy other’s life, he said acknowledging messages from concerned followers who tried to discourage him from discussing private matters on social media.
“There are 2 many people on here who know the truth about my marriage, from @Tund3_ to @eggheader. I endured it hoping for peace but . . .
“The spouse who collects child support above what the law stipulates but states otherwise in public just because men are bad. Or the numerous false financial claims which I have to come to know about.
“The whole going public was to shut me down from speaking, now I am past that. Spent the last 13 months going from police to courts. I have never been arrested or detained for a minute, I dropped charges against the spouse to not have to do this. Yet I am falsely accused.
“On one of those days of my physical abuse, I did have audio recordings in the house in case I did not make it. Someone would know how I died. Those audios will be shortly on my YouTube channel. I am back to the courts but this time I won’t be holding back.
“Gone are the days I almost stepped in front of the bus to end it or dread going home after work cos of what I was going through at home. Where do I start from? Was it the mother in law who slapped me 18 times or the spouse who broke a bottle on me or the days I slumped at home.
“I realize that it would have just been Rosanwo is a nice guy if I had passed on. 1 min silence and life goes on. Or the days when I had to call for help, Pastor to come and save me from the hands of the woman I claim to love.
“At the end of the day, the truth will prevail. I will no longer enable my abuser to use this space. I don’t have a marriage but I have 2 sons, survived DV & I am still breathing. Now time to put all the numerous allegations to rest. When my sons are of age, if God does not spare me long life, they will be able to read this and the court papers.
“Marriages fail however one does not have to fail with it. Finally, I deny all the allegations raised so far. Thee matter is in court. My concern is for my sons. Thanks. 10 days after our son was born, mother-in-law breaks mirror to stab spouse, stepped in, received 18 slaps & got a spine shift.
“If this were Nigeria, many would claim one was buying the system. @metpoliceuk has all records of attending to our home including cautions. I have been separated for 1 year going to just live quietly, I left when I saw near death however back to the UK courts for the law to act.
“Those of you who went into spouse DM, I have your screenshots, ” he said referring to a couple in Abuja who was asking his wife to date their friend in London. The Lagos IT boys who entered her DM to condemn me and asking to sleep with her, I keep your screenshots for another day.
“You don’t have any idea of how difficult it was, my father and sisters are on Twitter. Take a cue from that. Can’t do Abuja peeps screenshot cos my solicitor says it contains too much.
“Law requires one to pay £214 per month for child support, paid more while same person is scheming to get you deported.”
The story of Rosanwo may sound disjointed and untrue but it is the story of a hurt and abused man. Domestic abuse on men is usually treated with the least attention and most social media users are already condemning Mr. Rosanwo for washing his dirty linens in public.
What happens when the man is the victim of Domestic violence?