Human beings are animals of association, so as we grow older, as we continue to change with age, there is one thing we all get afraid of ……. the fear of being alone for the rest of our lives. Frankly, there must come a point in everyone’s life when they feel alone and wish they had someone next to their heart. Most of the time, people don’t wish for “just someone’ around them, rather, they wish for someone they can call their own, their “better half or life companion”. Yes! it’s a universal truth that human beings don’t want to be alone in their old age. Now, no matter how tough, independent or strong a person is, this stage of life is always disturbing, depressing and nerve-wrecking especially on the part of the ladies. No wonder the holy book(Bible) refers to marriage as an honourable institution.
Here in Nigeria, some cute and beautiful ladies are yet to tie the knot. Many Nigerians believe that some ladies made the dire decisions to stay single while some others feel that condition made it so for them (Na condition make crayfish bend). Nigerian men however, believe that there are more serious reasons why many Nigerian ladies are yet to tie the know. So, we want to explore these other reasons and see if it would help Nigerian ladies who did not consciously make the decision to stay single, leave spinsterhood.
1. Most Eligible Men Are Not Ready To Tie The Knot:
Are you aware that a lot of men who are eligible for marriage out there are still jobless and are struggling to make ends meet? There is this firm believe that the Nigerian labor market favors the ladies more than men so that it seems like women achieve more in Nigeria without great effort than the men. This does not indicate that men are not making it either. It just means that most of the men who are old enough to get married do not have the means of doing it because they are working tirelessly to make ends meet while some of the men want to have all the money possible before getting married. But hey! This is the 21st century so if he does not have the means, you might as well do what the Bible says and be a helper. Besides, you will not just be helping him, you will be helping yourself too.
2. Several Shocking Notes Of Heartbreak From Partners:
On another note, some ladies who have gone through several heart breaks find it very difficult to ever give men another chance. They put on a very strong front once their relationship becomes a disaster, especially when they were expectant of marriage in their previous relationship which was not forthcoming. The long-held belief “Experience is the best teacher” hold true for such ladies with that type of experience, mostly after two or three experiences. Others believe that it is good to give another chance even when they end up in same way, always hoping that it will eventually workout someday. In all, ladies should know that you don’t give everybody that comes your way a chance to break your heart, you give them a chance to prove themselves instead. This way, if he does not measure up, your heart will still be intact after he you have kicked him out. You can’t lose what you didn’t have right?
3. Career Pursuit (Independent Women):
Some Nigerian ladies are just so busy chasing their careers that they don’t have the time to get married. This applies especially to those who pay more attention to their careers in neglect of their personal lives. They give little or no attention to relationships. Some of these career ladies who managed to get into relationships, fail to balance their social time and professional time. Most of them pay zero attention to the feelings of their partners even when their partners complain bitterly.They always serve professional gist when on the social table. Most of them don’t even know what makes their partners happy and sad. But as they say, time waits for no man and before they know it, there’s no husband, no children and no career. Remember ladies its better late than never.
4. Dislike For Domestic Chores:
For most Nigerian ladies, the most common impediment to tieing the knot at the time of their choice is forgetting that they are Africans. African women are known for their ability to carry out domestic chores with ease and joy. This days, many Nigerian ladies have gone western and have forgotten entirely, how proud African are of their cultural heritage. No matter how successful you are, you are still an African Lady so, don’t forget to learn how to cook and do home chores. Although, gender equality is the new deal of the day, it is not enough reason to know nothing about domestic chores. Always bear in mind that Nigerian men don’t joke with good cooking! Above all, Love fades but Hunger does not.
5. Rigorous Selection Process (The Quest For A Perfect Man):
Another obvious reason is that most Nigerian ladies are slaves to TV programs and movies. These ladies follow the fake life of most celebrities which they see on TV. They build their castle in the air after watching such TV programs as soap operas, movies, and reality shows. They forget the simple truth that what they see on TV is fake and unnatural and most certainly does not hold true in real life.Stupidly, they expect their partners to act and look the same way as the celebrities they see on TV. They become too choosy, trying to get the man of their taste and will never give a second thought to any kind of man who comes their way. They continue to choose and dump until they have nothing to choose from, and age is no longer on their side. The surprising thing is that most of them are literally “Oliver twists” as they want a man who look like Will Smith today, tomorrow its D’banj or Idris Elba and maybe someone who has the position and charisma of Obama the next minute.
Grow up girl! There can only be one “Obama” and he is already married!
6. Some Ladies Are Incorrigible:
Getting an eligible husband would be difficult for a woman who is too independent and incorrigible. This kind of women make sure their opinions count in every matter. Having made money, own shares in multinational companies with a line of family fortune, some women see little or zero benefits to be obtained from marriage. They believe that they can’t be under a man since they have all they could ever want material wise. Wise up ladies, loneliness can get very tangible at times!
7. Decent Men Are Rare:
Getting a man who is really truthful and romantic is a big challenge to many Nigerian women. Women generally get annoyed with ease over some attitudes most men exhibit such as smoking and excessive drinking (which is so obviously men’s favorite pass time). Rather than sticking to their true love, some men love to flirt to the extent of sleeping around with rich women in order to get money from them. Considering the fact that it takes two to tango, women still remain women’s greatest problems.
8. Application Of Heavy Makeups, Indecent Dressing And Ill-Mannered Attitudes:
Looking too flashy scares most Nigerian men no doubt. Quite a good number of Nigerian ladies apply heavy make-up and end up looking like masquerades. They put on more than ten accessories to a particular occasion looking overly sophisticated. Many don’t know what is like to look “sophisticated and simple”. Why not try something lighter for a while and see for yourself. Speaking of indecent dressing, this is common among Nigerian ladies. They don’t just show off some skin but expose almost everything meant to be concealed and their manners are nothing to write home about. No man wants to marry a lady that is Public property.
9. Dating Married Men and Flirting Around With Different Young Men:
Did you know that some ladies can’t be with just one man? Surprisingly, Nigerian ladies have this unthinkable habit of having affairs with different men including married men. Some of them believe it is risky dealing with just one man holding strongly on to the usual belief of not putting “one’s egg in one basket”. As a result, they get confused and end up losing the one person who was ready to take the relationship to the next level. A good number of Nigerian men however can’t stand cheaters even when they themselves are cheating. This is one of the reasons why the so-called “ladies men” end up getting married to primitive, unpolished and often times ugly girls who they believe are decent in order to rule out cheating in their marriages. They feel unsafe when it comes to extremely polished girls who love posh apartments, cars and other flashy things. Also, girls who started off their lives flirting around with different men usually feel stuck later in life when they can no longer flirt around. Many ladies who lived their lives partying, clubbing and flirting end up searching for their own men at the 11th hour.
10. Quest For Mr Right:
Another significant impediment is the unending search for the perfect man. This usually keeps some ladies waiting for a long time before they settle down. Most of them don’t believe in settling for Mr. Second Best especially when they already have a clear picture of the kind of man they want. Therefore, the man’s look must be exactly as they imagined it to be, which is obviously why the number of single Nigerian ladies has more than doubled. Ladies please, if Mr Right is not forth coming, find Mr Left and drag him to the right. Problem solved.
Bear in mind that the list above is not final and does not really mean that most single ladies in Nigeria are single for any of the reasons mentioned above. It is my perception, you are free to share yours in the comment section below: