Asking questions are necessary to get updates of latest information and to clear a doubt. They are also important, in order not to miss your way or lose track of a course.
But when the answers are right before you, questions become uncalled for and ultimately annoying. Most Nigerians have a habit of falling victim to asking questions that could annoy a hungry man and even provoke anger. Listed here are some of them.
1. Nigerians see identical twins and ask “na twins be that? Ans: No! na picmix
2. They meet a woman who just gave birth “Madam u don born?” Ans: No, de pikin appear.
3. You see a sick person throwing up: “U dey vomit, abi u no well’? Ans: I well, I juz dey practice how to vomit.
4. Nepa brings light and everyone shouts “up Nepa!” Then someone asks: “O boy na light be that?” Ans: No oh, Na Holy Ghost fire!
5. A friend bumps into you in a bank: “hey, what are you doing here?” Ans: I came to uproot cassava.
6. You greet “good morning ma” and she goes “My pikin you don wake?” Ans: I never wake, I come buy bread wey I go chop for dream.
7. A neighbour sees you all dressed up and opening the gate to leave, he asks “U dey comot?” Ans: Not at all, I be the new gate man.
8. Give me your phone number – 08034 . . . “So u dey use MTN?” Ans: NO! Na my NEPA line be dis.
9. You are dressed up on a Sunday morning, with your big bible and your friend asks “O boy na church u dey go?” Ans: No, I wan go drop the bible for museum.
10. They see you coming out of the bathroom, wet; “did you just have a bath?” Ans: no, I slipped and fell into the toilet bowl.
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11. They see you after a long time: “Na ur face be dis?” Ans: No, na my hips.
12. Guy na u be this? Ans: NO OH! Na my papa wen in young.
13. A man returns home from work and his wife asks : “You don come back?” Ans: No, I still dey road dey come.
14. They see you carrying sponge and soap to the bathroom and ask : “U wan go baff?” Ans: No, I wan go dance.
15. You see a rich friend flipping a key and about to enter his brand new jeep, and you ask “O boy na your car be this?” Ans: No, I be the new driver, I wan re-park am for de owner.
16. You give a recharge card vendor N100 note for mtn card and she still asks “100 naira own?” Ans: No, give me 25 naira card, 75 naira change.
17. Villagers see a white man “na oyibo be dis?” Ans: No, na dat laundry guy wey bleach pour.
18. A teacher meets her student in a mall shopping with a man who looks just like him: Teacher: “Is that your dad?” Student: No! He’s a kidnapper, help!
19. A friend visits you and finds you eating eba “O boy na food be dis?” Ans: No, na bomb, I wan commit suicide with am.
20. A child is looking at you while you’re eating biscuit, and you ask “You go chop? The answer is obvious, the child wants the snack that’s why s/he is staring.
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