A sex-starved pastor’s wife in Zimbabwe who has gone seven years without the ‘drill’ has dragged her husband to court over the matter. Unable to hold back her emotions when she appeared before the court of law, the woman, Mary Ngwenya, revealed that her husband Petros Tshuma, a pastor with Zion Grace International, has not had sex with her since 2010.
She accused him of sleeping with other women from his congregation saying:
“Your worship, I’m sexually abused by this man as he last slept with me in 2010. If I ask him about the issue he would promise to make up for it but when it’s time he simulates sickness then claims to be feeling pain in his stomach.”
The sex-starved woman added that her husband would also claim his testicles were swollen but had other partners to sleep with as she literally pleaded for sex in front of the magistrate.
“What I know is that he enjoys sex with three ladies from our church. I have WhasApp text messages to prove that. I’m a human being. I don’t survive on Bible verses and I need my husband to sleep with me. Now I lead a pretentious life telling the women I lead that I’m enjoying my marriage while I’m starved.”
However, Tshuma, who admitted the blame explained:
“I love my wife but I have a problem, when I engage in s*x my stomach starts to twinge as a result I feel an intense pain and due to that I had to stop. It’s not true that I’m in love with other women. My wife saw text messages from the women who wanted counselling on their marriages, due to that she quickly concluded that I’m in love with them.”
The judge, Masuku ordered Tshuma to have s*x with his wife and not to emotionally abuse her.
Believe it or not, sex is always a vital part of any healthy marriage. Its scarcity in a marriage relationship could affect the entire atmosphere in a home and indirectly, the lives of other members of the family involved. No wonder the Holy Book made it clear that couples should not deny each other of sexual gratification as their bodies belong to each other.
In a similar case which played out in Nigeria, A 70-year old, sex-starved pastor, Caleb Oluwafisibe, pleaded with the Ojo Customary Court in Lagos on Tuesday 19th January, 2016, to dissolve his marriage to his wife, Titilayo, because she has starved him long enough.
The pastor, who has been married to his wife for 41 years now, appeared in court wearing a polo T-shirt which had the inscription ‘peace’ at the back. He came with an open mind to create peace in his life as he urged the court to free him from his wife, since he had already started practicing a celibate life, even as a married man. He went ahead to lay complaints of how the marriage started and how his sex life with his wife came to an abrupt end.
“Since I married my wife in June 1975, it’s been marriage and separation in two phases because any situation was determined by what I could offer. We were living well until 1998 when things became tough with me. We separated from 1998 to 2006, when my church transferred me out to the East.”
After the reunion, the marriage had not remained the same. Sex became a thing of fantasy as he constantly was turned down whenever he asked for it. Aware of the medical implications of not having sex for a long time, the unsatisfied husband kept persuading his wife until he could push no further, so he decided to bring the case to court.
Aside being sex-starved by his spouse, the pastor said his wife also had a negative influence on his children. He and his wife had different views about life, and it affected the welfare and training of their children. This had led to series of clashes between the two about the well-being of their family. Pastor Caleb went ahead to say that, irrespective of his wife constantly denying him the opportunity to carry out his duty as her husband since 2006, he had prayed to God to give him the grace not to defy his marriage vows, thus, resorting to celibacy.
“I even had a special prayer for my wife for three years to see if God would intervene in the difficult situation and change her personality,” he said.
However, the wife of the pastor, Titilayo, pleaded not guilty to the accusation, she said the husband treated her without any tender consideration as a wife. She also said he neglected his family while concentrating on his ministerial works.
“He calls himself a pastor yet he does not have regard for his family. He has really caused so much division among our children,” she said.