A Nigeria Lady seeks relationship advice on right choice to make between quitting her upcoming traditional marriage with her fiance and merging her personal bank account with his.
Using her social media page, the lady said her fiance threaten to cancel the traditional marriage ceremony if she does not comply with his ultimatum.
Please, I need a relationship advice, my traditional marriage is this weekend but now that we’ve fixed everything my fiancee is saying that after our traditional marriage that I will have to close my accounts and use his own. That is what he wants as my husband and that he doesn’t want me to have a different account.
He said it’s what he just decided on and that if I don’t agree with it, we should just cancel the wedding now. I told him to give me today and tomorrow for me to think. Please is this right, it’s like he’s putting me in a fix like I can’t say no giving that our traditional marriage is next Saturday.
I have a good job of which he knows about. But closing and transferring all my money to his account is it the right thing to do? Should I agree with this ultimatum? My father says I should not try it, my elder brother too. They said if he doesn’t agree then the wedding should be called off but I am confused please what should I do?
The Relationship Advice
Experts in relationship advice that couple should learn the secrets to solving certain relationship problems and it is generally agreed that decision between a couple should be mutual and not one-sided.
One of the users who gave an advice believes “no genuine man will give such ultimatum to wed a woman,” – true/false?
Like experts will always say, good communication is a key ingredient for every successful relationship, so as to avoid misunderstandings.
Money in relationships has been identified as part of the major conflicts in marriage. Some experts suggest that since marriage is a partnership, having a separate bank account and splitting the bills is a bad idea that will lead to a marital problem. Instead, couples are adviced to not to have separate accounts, but merge their money together and begin to look at it as a whole.
As for the income, the relationship advice there suggest that no matter who’s earning the higher paycheck, it has now become ‘our money,’ thus one should never think they have leverage over the other.
However, from the story the lady narrated above, many Nigerian commenters believe the man in question could have the following ulterior motive,
- He’s either a gold digger/con artist looking to ripe where he did not sole,
- He’s a control freak who wishes to remain in charge at all cost,
- He’s selfish and doesn’t care about the opinion of his future wife.
Everybody is entitled to their opinion, what do you think? Do share your opinion with us.