Looking for suitable jokes for your kids, these jokes must be devoid of any form of dirty languages and must not in any way send the wrong signal to the kids. These kind of jokes are hard to come across. Now that your little kid’s sense of humour has progressed, now that he or she has started to appreciate more complex riddles and jokes, we have decided to compile a list of good and funny jokes kid-friendly jokes to make your child laugh. Kids love to tell jokes, find all the best kids’ jokes that will have them in stitches, these include riddles, knock-knock jokes, scary jokes and several more.
1. Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?
A: He wanted to go to high school.
2. Q: Where do pencils go on vacation?
3. Q: Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
A: Because they might peel!
4. Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato?
A: Lettuce get together!
5. Q: What is the most hardworking part of the eye?
A: the pupil
6. Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogie in it!
7. Q: What do you call cheese that’s not yours?
A: Nacho cheese!
8. Q: Why did the birdie go to the hospital?
A: To get a tweetment.
9. Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?
A: A Clausterphobic
10. Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
11. Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it would be a foot!
12. Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck!
13. Q: What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it?
A: Post Office!
14. Q: What did the traffic light say to the car?
A: Don’t look, I’m changing.
15. Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours?
A: Nacho Cheese
16. Q: What streets do ghosts haunt?
A: Dead ends!
17. Q: What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A: A private tutor.
18. Q: What do you call a bear with no socks on?
19. Q: What can you serve but never eat?
A: A volleyball.
20. Q: What kind of key opens a banana?
A: A monkey!
21. Q: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
A: Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?
22. Q: Why does a hummingbird hum?
A: It doesn’t know the words!
23. Q: Why did the child study in the airplane?
A: He wanted a higher education!
24. Q: What can go up a chimney down, but can’t go down a chimney up?
A: An umbrella.
25. Q: Why was the broom late?
A: It over swept!
26. Q: Why is a baseball team similar to a muffin?
A: They both depend on the batter.
27. Q: What did the alien say to the garden?
A: Take me to your weeder.
28. Q: Why do watermelons have fancy weddings?
A: Because they cantaloupe.
29. Q: What happens if life gives you melons?
A: You’re dyslexic
30. Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: Stick with me and we will go places!
31. Q: What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?
32. Q: What’s taken before you get it?
A: Your picture.
33. Q: What concert costs 45 cents?
A: 50 Cent featuring Nickleback.
34. Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist?
A: To get a root canal.
35. Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
A: Cell phones.
36. Q: Where do snowmen keep their money?
A: In snow banks.
37. Q: What washes up on very small beaches?
38. Q: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?
A: Guardians of the Galaxy.
39. Q: What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?
A: Swimming trunks.
40. Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom?
A: At the BP station!
41. Q: What kind of bed does a mermaid sleep in?
A: A waterbed!
42. Q: What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup?
43. Q: Why did the barber win the race?
A: Because he took a shortcut.
44. Q: Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep?
A: So he could have sweet dreams.
45. Q: Why did the robber take a bath?
A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
46. Q: What happens if life gives you melons?
A: You’re dyslexic
47. Q: What does a nosey pepper do?
A: Gets jalapeno business!
48. Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An Impasta
49. Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator
50. Q: What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?
A: Hi Cliff!
51. Q: What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent?
A: Show me the honey!
52. Q: Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?
A: Because he was sitting on the deck!
53. Q: What dog keeps the best time?
A: A watchdog.
54. Q: What did the man say to the wall?
A: One more crack like that and I’ll plaster ya!
55. Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing!
56. Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A: He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
57. Q: What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio?
A: Cool Music.
58. Q: What goes up when the rain comes down?
A: An umbrella.
59. Q: What is an astronaut’s favorite place on a computer?
A: The Spacebar!
60. Q: What exam do young witches have to pass?
A: A spell-ing test!
61. Q: What do you call a sheep with no head and no legs?
A: A cloud!
62. Q: Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?
A: Neither, they both weigh a ton!
63. Q: What has one horn and gives milk
A: A milk truck.
64. Q: Where do bulls get their messages?
A: On a bull-etin board.
65. Q: When do you stop at green and go at red?
A: When you’re eating a watermelon!
66. Q: How did the farmer mend his pants?
A: With cabbage patches!
67. Q: Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory?
A: He couldn’t concentrate!
68. Q: How do you repair a broken tomato?
A: Tomato Paste!
69. Q: Why did the traffic light turn red?
A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
70. Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
A: I think I’m coming down with something!
71. Q: What do you say when you lose a wii game?
A: I want a wii-match!
72. Q: How do you make an Octopus laugh?
A: With ten-tickles
73. Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor?
A: Because it had a virus!
74. Q: Why are frogs so happy?
A: They eat whatever bugs them
75. Q. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A. Milk and quackers!
76. Q: What did the painter say to the wall?
A: One more crack like that and I’ll plaster you!
77. Q: Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
A: In case they get a hole in one!
78. Q: Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk?
A: Because he wanted to work over-time!
79. Q: Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
A: Because he wanted to see time fly!
80. Q: What do bulls do when they go shopping?
A: They CHARGE!
Best Jokes For Kids –
81. Q: What runs but can’t walk?
A: The faucet!
82. Q: When’s the best time to go to the dentist?
83. Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
84. Q: Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon?
A: Because he was a paleontologist.
85. Q: Why was the student’s report card wet?
A: It was below C level!
86. Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
87. Q: What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn’t move?
A: The road!
88. Q: Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?
A: The scientists were brainstorming!
89. Q: Why did Tony go out with a prune?
A: Because he couldn’t find a date!
90. Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
A: Every morning you’ll rise and shine!
91. Q: “What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?”
A: “You can’t tuna fish.”
92. Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a “head” and the tomato was trying to “ketchup”!
93. Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.
94. Q: What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
A: It let out a little wine!
95. Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the courtroom?
A: Odor in the court.
96. Q: What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
97. Q: Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
A: They don’t have the guts.
98. Q: Why can’t a leopard hide?
A: Because he’s always spotted!
99. Q: What do you give a dog with a fever?
A: Mustard, it’s the best thing for a hot dog!
100. Q: What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?
A: A sourpuss!
101. Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter?
A: Its easier than walking!
102. Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry?
A: Because his parents were in a jam!
103. Q: What was the Cat in the Hat looking for in the toilet?
A: For thing one and thing two.
104. Q: What did the hamburger name his daughter?
105. Q: What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay?
A: A deviled egg!
106. Q: What did the blanket say to the bed?
A: Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!
107. Q: Why should you take a pencil to bed?
A: To draw the curtains!
108. Q: How many books can you put in an empty backpack?
A: One! After that its not empty!
109. Q: Did you hear they’re changing the flooring in daycare centers?
A: They’re calling it infant-tile!
110. Q: What do lawyers wear to court?
111. Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?
A: A towel.
112. Q: What did the pencil say to the other pencil?
A: you’re looking sharp.
113. Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because the queen has reigned there for years!
114. Q: Why do fish live in salt water?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!
115. Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A: He wanted cold hard cash!
116. Q: What did the penny say to the other penny?
A: We make perfect cents.
117. Q: Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
A: To get to the second-hand shop.
118. Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?
A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
119. Q: Why did the belt go to jail?
A: Because it held up a pair of pants!
120. Q: Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend?
A: Because his friend said dinner is on me.
121. Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof?
A: Never mind, it’s over your head!
122. Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A: Because he had no-body to go with.
123. Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.
124. Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter?
A: I better not tell you, it might spread.
125. Q: How do baseball players stay cool?
A: They sit next to their fans.
126. Q: Why was the math book sad?
A: Because it had too many problems.
127. Q: What runs but doesn’t get anywhere?
A: A refrigerator.
128. Q: What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving?
A: A turkey!
129. Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: He felt crummy!
130. Q: Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed?
A: She couldn’t control her pupils!
131. Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: Because it was framed.
132. Q: What do you call a baby monkey?
A: A Chimp off the old block.
133. Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away?
A: A taxi driver.
134. Q: “How do you shoot a killer bee?”
A: “With a bee bee gun.”
135. Q: How do you drown a Hipster?
A: In the mainstream.
136. Q: Why don’t you see giraffes in elementary school?
A: Because they’re all in High School!
137. Q: Which is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: “Smiles”, because there is a mile between each “s”!
138. Q: Which month do soldiers hate most?
A: The month of March!
139. Q: What bow can’t be tied?
A: A rainbow!
140. Q: What season is it when you are on a trampoline?
141. Q: Where did the computer go to dance?
A: To a disc-o.
142. Q: What has one head, one foot, and four legs?
A: A Bed
143. Q: What kind of button won’t unbutton?
A: A bellybutton!
144. Q: Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!
145. Q: What kind of shoes do all spies wear?
Funny Knock Knock Jokes For Kids
146. Knock, knock
Water you doing in my house?
147. Knock, knock
Goat to the door and find out.
148. Knock, knock
Before I get cold, you’d better let me in!
149. Knock, knock
No bell, that’s why I knocked!
150. Knock, knock
Anita to borrow a pencil!
151. Knock, knock
Figs the doorbell, it’s broken!
152. Knock, knock
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you don’t let me in!
153. Knock, knock
Orange you going to answer the door?
154. Knock knock
155. Knock knock
Luke through the keyhole and you can see!
156. Knock, knock
Amarillo nice guy!
157. Knock, knock
158. Knock, knock
Alma not going to tell you!
159. Knock, knock
Barbie Q Chicken!
160. Knock, knock
Figs the doorbell, it’s broken!
161. Knock, knock
Ken I come in, it’s freezing out here?
162. Knock knock
Frank you for being my friend!
163. Knock knock
Wooden shoe who?
Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?
164. Knock, knock
Orange you glad to see me?
165. Knock, knock
Leaf Me Alone!
Yo Mama Jokes For Kids
166. Yo mama is so ugly, she went to a haunted house and came out with a job application.
167. Yo mama is so old, her birth certificate reads: “Expired”.
168. Yo momma is so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
169. Yo mama is so fat, she tripped over a rock and fell asleep trying to get up.
170. Yo mama is so poor, when a cigarette is stepped on, she said, ”Hey, who turned off the heater?”
171. Yo mama is so fat, the army stole her pants for a parachute.
172. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her.
173. Yo mama is so fat, when a bus hit her, she said, “Who threw that rock?”
174. Yo mama is so ugly, when she walked into a bank, they turned off the cameras.
175. Yo mama’s teeth are so yellow, traffic slows down when she smiles.
176. Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was a Prince.
177 Yo momma is so fat, when she gets on a scale it says… to be continued.
178. Yo mama is so stupid, she went to the orthodontist to get a Bluetooth.
179. Yo momma is so fat, when she went to space, NASA said they found a new planet.
180. Yo mama’s house is so small, she ordered a large pizza and had to eat it outside.
181. Yo mama is so skinny, she hula hoops with a Cheerio.
182. Yo mama is so poor, she went to McDonald’s and put a milkshake on layaway.
183. Yo mama is so old, she ran track with dinosaurs.
184. Yo mama is so fat when she wears her grey swimsuit at the beach the whales call her name.
185. Yo mama is so fat, her belly button has an echo.
186. Yo mama is so fat, when she walks in front of the TV, you miss 20 minutes of your show.
Math Jokes For Kids
187. Why do plants hate math? Because it gives them square roots.
188. Why did the boy eat his math homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
189. Have you heard the latest statistics joke? Probably.
190. What did the acorn say when it grew up? Geometry.
191. What do you call an empty parrot cage? Polygon.
192. Cakes are round but Pi are square.
193. What do mathematicians eat on Halloween? Pumpkin Pi.
194. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had so many problems.
195. A circle is just a round straight line with a hole in the middle.
196. How can you make time fly? Throw a clock out the window!
School Jokes For Kids
197. What did you learn in school today?
Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow!
198. What’s the king of the classroom?
199. What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?
200. What subject in school is easy for a witch?
201. What did the computer do at lunchtime?
It had a byte!
202. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students were bright!
203. Why was the teacher cross-eyed?
She couldn’t control her pupils!
204. Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano!
205. What is snake’s favourite subject?
206. What is a pirate’s favourite subject?
207. What do you call a pirate that skips class?
208. What did the tree say to the math teacher?
Gee, I’m a tree!
209. What did the pen say to the pencil?
What’s your point?!
210. How do you get straight A’s?
Use a ruler!
211. What vegetables do librarians like?
212. Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
213. What grades did the pirate get in school?
214. Why did the kid study in the aeroplane?
He wanted a higher education!
215. Why did the clock in the cafeteria run slow?
It always went back four seconds!
216. Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems.