There are moments in a relationship when keeping quiet should surpass the strong urge to be heard.
A relationship article posted on Cheat Sheet suggests that your reactions to certain situations and events can make or break your relationship. Relationships are all about communication, and while most people think that it means more talking, there are times in a relationship when keeping your mouth shut pays off.
The fine line between when to speak your mind and when to stay silent can be a hard one to define, but these four guides will provide you with common times when holding back that jumble of words inside you will make your relationship healthier and happier.
#1 When Your Partner Is Talking
Whether done in public or in the privacy of your home, interrupting says one thing: You don’t care about what your partner is saying. This means that when your partner is telling your friends about work drama and you interject your opinion, you are showing your partner (and your friends) that your opinion is more important than what your partner was saying.
This nasty habit can get even worse behind closed doors. How often has your partner been expressing their feelings to you and you berate them by constantly interrupting with contradictions and corrections to what they’re saying? Regardless of the specific situation, remembering your manners and waiting your turn will show your partner that you respect them and will provide you with well-earned floor time later on.
Read Also: 7 Things Good Listeners Do Differently
#2 After An Apology
For persons who always like to be right in all things, offering sincere apology seem practically impossible for them. So, if you belong in that category of people, this is not the time to keep mum. Apologies can restore hurt feelings and repair a damaged relationship. But even if you’re able to squeak out those two, hard-to-say words you may immediately find yourself backpedaling with an explanation as to why you did what you did. While explaining the situation may be helpful, using this time to defend yourself or your reasons for acting wrongly will only devalue your apology. A simple apology should be just that: simple. When you blurt out an “I’m sorry” and then follow it with reasons validating your action, you may as well have skipped the apology all together.
#3 When You Want To Criticize
When you’re hurt, angry, or jealous, you may want to lash out and hurt your partner emotionally. This can be done passive aggressively by making your partner feel stupid, ugly, or insignificant in public or even in private. Criticizing can also happen in the midst of your most heated arguments when statements like “You’re selfish” and “I hate you” slip out of your mouth. These proclamations may not reflect your true feelings, but will inflict lasting pain on your partner well after the fight has ended. Rid your relationship of this emotional abuse by avoiding hurtful “you” statements that point out your partner’s trouble areas and you’ll have a much happier partner and a healthier relationship.
#4 When Your Partner Is Vulnerable
There are moments in every relationship when the walls are broken down and you see your partner’s most basic insecurities and fears. When your partner trusts you enough to show you their deepest hurts or troubles, it is time to listen and respond in a careful manner. Your blabbering mouth may try to get you into trouble here, but this intimate moment is a chance for you to listen wholeheartedly and make an attempt to understand your partner on a deeper level. By hearing them first and responding in a manner that allows them to feel heard and validated, you are fostering trust and intimacy in your relationship.