Every little girl looks forward to her wedding day, every princess dreams of her prince, and every woman desires a husband. In as much as it is not the duty of a woman to seek for or find a man, but to be found by one, it is her obligation to screen through her list of men so as not to tie the knot with the wrong guy. Not every man is marriageable, just like they say with women, but the issue is that most Nigerian women have met worse men than the ones on this list but believes he would change with time. The hard truth is – no woman is capable of single-handedly changing any man without his approval. Rather than wish for the impossible, why not go for the possible – the man with a lighter baggage that you can cope with because it is better to remain single than marry any of the men on this list.
1. A Man Who Still Adores His Ex
This man professes love to you 24/7 but he still creates time for his EX in the disguise of ‘just friends’. He hasn’t really gotten over her and he keeps comparing you with her at the slightest chance he gets. He can never truly love you like he claims because he still has remnants of her in his system and this will continue even after he marries you, so don’t even say yes to him until you are sure he is emotionally detoxified.
2. A Perfectionist
This is not just about him being meticulous about everything like his clothes, food, house, and properties. It extends to how he feels about you. A perfectionist would always try to make you perfect, and if it is not working, he would wonder if you are the perfect woman for him or if there is someone out there who perfectly fits into his dream woman. These kind of men are just not worthy of your attention or commitment.
3. A Relationship Novice
Marrying a guy who has never dated anyone before you is a whole lot of work as compared to the one who had several girlfriends before settling down. He would know practically nothing about handling a woman or dealing with a relationship. So get ready to sail the ship if you must marry him. On the other hand, you must question the fact that he has been single all the while, it could be a trap or he might be hiding something from you.
4. An Abusive Man
Nigerian ladies know better on this one, but a number of them still walk down the altar with an abusive man. Whether physical or emotional, you do not have to put up with an abusive man, you deserve better. Once you notice that trait in him while dating, look for the nearest exit and start plotting your escape map. Statistics show that it starts with one slap and continues till it gets to a stab and then murder. Girlfriend, be wise and secure your future by letting him go, a better man will come around sooner than you think.
5. A Rebel
It’s confusing how most ladies get attracted to gangsters and bad boys. There’s just something mysterious and romantic about marrying a militant or a Boko Haram member – he appears to offer you security with his razz personality, but the truth is that a societal rebel will also rebel in his marriage and worse – produce rebellious kids. There are more responsible men out there, a rebel is not worth your love.
6. A Narcissist
Narcissus was an ancient Greek mythological figure who was so beautiful that he fell in love with himself, but because he couldn’t leave his own reflection in the water, he eventually drowned. A person who is a narcissist is so convinced of their own greatness that they don’t see their weaknesses. Marrying a narcissist is a very one-sided relationship. They’re always trying to flaunt their own greatness often at the expense of others. The marriage will usually be all about him and with time you will become invisible.
7. A Control Freak
Everybody likes to have things their own way. Unfortunately, because men are socialized to express hostility and anger when they don’t get what they want, a man who is a control freak can often become intimidating and even abusive – physically or mentally. Run for your dear life, you don’t need to be controlled by a freak.
8. A Cheat
There is this myth most Nigerian women have that when a cheating man gets married he stops cheating. Well, the reverse is the case because he will only get better in the act. It is a bad idea to consider such a man for marriage. Cheats hardly change who they are, no matter how many times they promise they will.
9. A Mummy’s Boy
Having a man who cares for his mum is adorable, but when he begins to worship her, his wife-to-be is in for a long thing. This kind of man can not do a thing without consulting his beloved mother. She practically tells him to jump and all he does is ask ‘high how?’ So you better get used to hearing, “My mom doesn’t do it that way,” as well as get used to his mother being your marriage counselor, too.
10. A Pretty Guy
When you choose to marry not just a handsome man but a pretty one, just get ready for regular drooling from all the girls in your neighborhood. This kind of man is also very body conscious and might be the one ordering for the latest Zaron lip balm and the latest J’lo perfume. You would have a lot to put up with if you consider this kind of man for marriage.
11. A Pushover
As mentioned before, everybody likes to have their own way. So when you find a guy who lets you do whatever you want and doesn’t complain about it, you want to grab him up. But after a while, you’ll find yourself making all the decisions. And then you’ll find yourself complaining because he doesn’t pull his own weight.
12. The Manly Man
This guy talks about sports, beer, and hunting all the time. He doesn’t help out in the kitchen and would not help out with changing diapers as well. He is also not romantic and is likely to forget Valentine’s Day or your wedding anniversary. Don’t get it wrong, he shouldn’t be weak or too strong – average is the best.
13. The Fitness Freak
Who doesn’t want a guy with well-chiseled abs and nice arms? But a man who spends quality time in the gym will have no time for his family – it’s all about how great he looks in his shirts. Don’t forget that his hot body will also attract a lot of attention from girls and even married women.
14. A Commitment-Phobe
Just like there are some women who have issues with committing to anything, we also have men who are this way. If he is afraid of commitment then it is no use convincing him that committing to a marriage is a good idea. And if he finally decides to knuckle down and commit, watch out for loopholes – he might not be as committed as he says he is. If he used to be a commitment-phobe, he may still be.
15. A Dishonest Man
He is a liar, a deceiver, and has no integrity. Two things will happen if you marry such a man – you will start lying like him and will give birth to kids with worse characters. Eventually, all these will lead to heartbreak.
16. The Addict
If you suspect he might be an alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, sex, etc addict, then it is better to save yourself future pain and unhappiness by looking for someone else. Dating an addict automatically puts you and your family in second place and also at risk of abuse.
17. A Nag
Who says men don’t nag? Well, you haven’t met this kind of man and pray you never do. A male nag is even worse than its female counterpart because he nags and vents his anger on everyone in the house. You don’t want to be around when he is exhibiting this trait.
18. The I-Know-More-Than-You
It’s a good thing to marry a man with brains but be careful if you don’t have half the kind of brain that he has or his brains. He will always tell you that he knows more than you, you are just a woman – what do you know. Considering marriage with this kind of man will involve your self-esteem being battered at every point, even when you are right and he is wrong. Remember, nothing is more annoying than being told you are wrong when you know you are right.
19. A Stingy Man
A man who finds it difficult to be generous with his material possessions, even when he has more than enough to share, might not be the best family man. Marriage involves a lot of sharing and if he is too self-obsessed to see the needs of someone else, that union would end up being one-sided.
20. A Polygamist
Most African men believe in polygamy, although some who grew up in such homes will not want a repeat experience. However, if he says he would love to have a second wife while he is still dating you, truth is, he is openly saying he would cheat on you. You might be lucky not to have a mate, but you will surely have many rivals who he will be cheating with. If he is unfaithful during courtship he will be during the marriage.
21. An Unambitious Man
If a guy is older than 35 and he is still unsure about what his dream job is, or is not currently working or looking for a job, you better question that. Nigerian men like to settle their careers before proposing, don’t forget that, yours shouldn’t be different. A man is the leader of his family and should know where he is headed, in order to lead right.
22. An Insecure Man
Trust is very important in a relationship and even more crucial in a marriage. If he is always suspicious of every single person that comes close to you, then think twice about making him your life partner. A marriage would not last long if one partner consistently suspects the other of being unfaithful.
23. A Disrespectful Man
A man who is disrespectful to you or even everyone, in general, would not make a good husband. Respect is very important in every relationship and if you constantly feel disrespected, then it certainly would not lead to a happy home.
24. The Boss Man
Only an insecure man would boss you around. He wants to know where you are at every time and who you are speaking with on the phone. He can even go as far as confirming you are in a said place, and if you are not, all hell would be let loose. You don’t need this kind . . . simply move on.
25. A Secretive Man
Men are generally known to talk less than women and as such can keep secrets from their spouses for a very long time. Not to forget also that it takes a lot of energy to conceal something from someone you claim to love. A man who is very secretive may develop a wicked heart over time, and you don’t need to be shocked with the bad news of what he did five years ago. This kind of man can have a kid outside, and make sure you never get to know about it. He may even be into an illegal business and you will only know when the police come for both of you. If he is not willing to share some heart to heart issues with you, especially about his past and present, do not consider walking down the altar with him.