If cheating was death, then there would be only a few men left in the world. Currently, the number of unfaithful men, especially in Nigeria, has tripled the non-census statistics from 10 years ago. This article contains shocking facts about men who cheat and why they do so. Men no longer hide the habit of cheating, so do their partners in crime, who proudly flaunt illegal boy/man-friends to the world.
Why do men really cheat? Is it that their spouse is not good enough in bed, or they just prefer to hop from one lady to the other? Actually, there is more to this question than the mouth can answer. Of a truth, some men cheat simply because they are immature and naive about the importance of fidelity, others just have issues that need psychological attention.
When it comes to cheating, men operate in a different realm; they take infidelity lightly and sometimes see it as a necessary evil. Some men even argue that it is their biological imperative or their tribal right, especially as Africans, to have sexual knowledge of as many women as possible.
Cheating starts from the mind; senseless justifications lead to the first step of cheating. Then it builds up to meeting the cheat-mate, getting acquainted, starting up conversations, closure, tension, and then the rest is history.
Most men won’t stop once the cheating process has been activated, until they achieve climax, which is the crux of the matter.
How Do Men Cheat?
This question does not have a definite answer, because there are a hundred ways men cheat. But before we hit it off, what exactly is infidelity? According to British English dictionary, it is the habit of having sexual or romantic affair with someone other than one’s spouse, without the consent of the spouse. Wikipedia says cheating is finding an easy way out of an unpleasant situation by dishonest means; breaking rules to gain unfair advantage.
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Back in pre-Internet days, the concept of cheating was straightforward: It involved actual in-the-flesh sexual contact. But in today’s world, infidelity has gone beyond physical contact and can transpire between people in different continents.
This is How Men cheat!
1. Watching Porn: Most men dismiss this by saying its not bad for their relationship, forgetting that watching other naked women and getting aroused by them is cheating by definition.
2. Sexting: This happens via text messages, where the people evolved text each other intimately and ultimately about sex. They practically have sex through text messages.
“Kissing your cute lips now baby, fondling those two grapes as well. I know you are wet already, waiting for me to slide in…”
3. Phone Sex: This is the elder brother of sexting, as it is more involving. This is when sweet nonsense is spoken over the phone with a partner, giving details of an ongoing sexual session. This can be mind blowing because both partners’ can hear each other’s soft groan and moan.
4. Flirting: Most men don’t even know when they flirt. It happens both consciously and unconsciously. They look at every girl that passes their way; winking and giving suggestive eye contacts. Some very silly guys go as far as stripping a lady naked by their piercing gaze.
5. Masturbation: This is also a form of cheating on a spouse, by getting satisfaction without her. Majority of masturbation incidence were triggered by all of the above mentioned.
5. Actual Sex: I doubt this needs explanation. This is the height of cheating and a good number of men in a committed relationship engage in it with someone other than their spouse.
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10 Reasons Why Men Cheat
Men who engage in sexual and romantic entanglements after making a vow of monogamy, do so due to the following psychological reasons:
1. Unreasonable Expectations
Most men who cheat believe their spouse should meet their every sexual and emotional need, 24/7, without faulting. He forgets the woman has other duties as a wife, like catering for the kids and keeping the home in good shape. Whenever his expectations are not met and his request for sex is turned down, he seeks intimate attention elsewhere.
No matter how old he is, a man who cheats is immature and inconsiderate. In his thinking, as long as she doesn’t find out, nobody will be hurt. He doesn’t understand that significant others always know when something is wrong. He doesn’t realize that she would eventually find out no matter how long it takes, and when she does, all hell would let loose.
3. Unsure of His Vow/Decision
A man who has never believed in monogamy, would always exhibit his polygamous attributes when he is stuck with one wife. He doesn’t understand that his vow of fidelity is a sacrifice made to and for his relationship and the person he professes to love – her alone. This man views monogamy as something to be worked around rather than embraced, so to him cheating is inevitable.
A man who is not confident of himself, who thinks or feels too old, too ugly, too poor or too dumb, etc, will always find a reason to cheat. In his inadequate mind, cheating is an escape to having a desirable personality. He uses flirtation, porn, and extramarital sex as a way to feel better about himself, to reassure himself that he is still wanted, worthwhile and good enough.
When a marriage becomes boring with sex as an occasional routine, cheating is bound to creep in. The man gets bored, overworked, and feels a yearn to experience something new and adventurous. He resorts to hiring prostitutes, viewing porn, or indulging in extra-marital affairs.
Perhaps he has an ongoing, problematic relationship with alcohol or drugs that affects his decision-making and dis-inhibits him. He may also have an issue with sexual compulsiveness, meaning he uses sexual activity as a way to self-soothe, escape uncomfortable emotions, and dissociate from the pain of underlying psychological conditions.
7. He is Damaged
He may be acting out early trauma experiences, such as physical abuse, neglect, or sexual abuse. His formative wounds have left him unable or unwilling to fully commit himself to another person. He may also seek sexual intensity outside his relationship as a way to escape from his emotional and psychological pain.
8. Marriage Crisis
When there is fire on a mountain, creatures that can’t stand the heat fly away to take solace somewhere else, to avoid death. This is exactly what happens when a marriage is experiencing hard times. The woman tries to keep calm by concentrating on her kids, the man keeps calm too, but in the arms of another woman.
9. Plans to Opt Out
When a man is tired of staying committed, he does whatever he likes sexually and is not bothered about the consequences. He is looking at ending his current relationship and uses external sexual and romantic activities to indirectly pass the message to his wife or girlfriend. On the other hand, a man who doesn’t like being alone would start hunting for the next lady before he lets go of his current relationship, so he doesn’t find himself girlfriend-less at any point.
10. It’s in His Blood
For some men, cheating runs in their blood, family and lifestyle. Just like they bath every morning, it is normal for them to have extra-relationship affairs with other woman. The funny thing about this kind of men is that they would never see it as cheating, they would rather see themselves as a real man, and in their opinion – “real men cheat.”