After being married for years, Ese Walter of Femina shares her reason for marrying her husband and how she struggled with her marriage in the first few years.
According to the Ese Walter, who tied the knots with her husband, Benny Ark – Cool Fm OAP, she wanted to have a new life and identity and so went ahead to get married.
Unlike for other girls, love or money wasn’t the reason for Ese Walter, however, her story changed, after she realized she didn’t love herself enough, neither did she have any love to give to her husband. She shared this on her Instagram page
Ese Walter writes:
“When I agreed to marry him two and a half years ago, I didn’t love him. Heck, I didn’t love my own self. I just needed a change of story. I needed to stop being the girl everyone called an evil mistress and ‘graduate’ to somebody’s Mrs I thought the Mrs title was going to save my ass and bring me some sort of redemption. I was wrong.
“Calling what happened next a disaster is putting it mildly. Weeks into living together brought out the worst in both of us. I thought I made a mistake. I didn’t trust him so why was I married to him. We would argue over everything and I convinced myself I wanted out despite the baby on the way. In therapy, I was able to face my own demons for the first time.
“I realized it was never about him or the other guys I dated. I was always looking for a fix outside of myself. I was always needing someone to take away the pain and save my lonely self. I was looking for what I wasn’t because I thought that could heal me.
“Months of living outside my comfort zone and going where the pain was brought me face to face with my demons that saved me. I didn’t trust him because I didn’t trust me. I couldn’t love him because I had no love to give. I was always blaming him because it was easier to project than take responsibility. As I started to evolve and see my own self, I was able to see him for the first time.
“As I started loving myself, I was able to love him and now as I learn to trust myself, I am trusting him, one day at a time. As I lay beside him last night I remembered a quote I read sometime ago. I don’t remember who said it but it read, ‘when you love the one you got, the one you got becomes the one you love’.
“When I stopped trying to change him and let him be, I was able to give room for his own evolving. He ain’t perfect. Who wants perfect anyways? I am learning that all is as it should be in the Universe, there are no mistakes only feedback.
“The Universe brought the one I needed for my evolving and I am thankful. GRATITUDE is my dominant feeling this morning. If you are struggling with the one you love, know that the world’s standard of love is fucked up. Vibrate higher and love because of love.”
Recall that Ese Walter was a model and former member of COZA Abuja, who once confessed that Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo of Coza lured her into a sexual relationship in 2013.
Early this year, she denounced her faith in Christianity, even though she has come to realize that she needed love to survive.
How would you describe most of the marriages that take place in recent time, where people marry for the very wrong reasons?