Ghanaian Counselor Adofoli, has dished out some plates of advise to men and women intending to get married. According to the relationship counselor, you should not get married to a partner who secures his or her phone with a password with the sole intention of hiding some personal information from you.
He said ‘if he or she is hiding things from you, it simply means they don’t want to become one with you. Such a marriage won’t last’, therefore use the door! To further drive home his point, the young counselor used some scriptural references to back up his point.
“If you are single and thinking of marriage, then please don’t marry anyone who puts password or locks on their phone as a form of security to prevent you from accessing their conversations.
“They can surely do this for other security measures, but you must not be the reason for this action.
“I am very much aware that password or lock are for security purposes but one thing I don’t approve of is when a spouse becomes the reason for that security measure.
“There is nothing like secrecy or privacy in marriage, let no one deceive you there is, and let no one tell you he or she is doing that to save you from getting hurt. Marriage is a holy institution, there is nothing like hiding. Marriage is made for life and one of the very things that can destroy it is acts of hiding things.
“The bible says in Genesis 2:25 (TLB) “Now although the man and his wife were both naked, neither of them was embarrassed or ashamed”. What are you embarrassed or ashamed of your spouse seeing? If you can’t be truthful, honest and transparent with them, then there is no need getting married to them. It doesn’t matter how you feel about them.
“Mark 10:8 (NLV) says “The two will become one. So they are no longer two, but one”. I therefore suggest to you, if he or she is hiding things from you, it simply means they don’t want to become one with you. Such a marriage won’t last.
“Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.
“– Counselor Adofoli.”
Though we may not feel comfortable exchanging a password with family members and long-term friends, it is believed that we should feel comfortable exchanging access to our personal information with partners. It’s an exercise in trust, the logic goes. If you have nothing to hide, why would you want to hide your password? Besides, knowing someone may look over your shoulder can keep you honest. That’s one angle to the story!
Looking at it from another point of view, part of a post on www.forbes.com says:
“Trust is an important bedrock for any relationship, but this (sharing of password) isn’t trust. This is mutually assured trust destruction. Intimacy comes from sharing select private information with people, not giving them keys to your privacy kingdom.
“When you share your password with someone, you open yourself up to the obvious downsides because a souring relationship can lead to people usingprivate secrets against each other.
“But you’re not just violating your own privacy, you’re violating that of everyone you correspond with. People send an email to your account assuming you’re the only one who will see it. They realize there’s a risk you might share the news with significant others, friends, family, or a random stranger on the bus, but there’s a reasonable assumption that you don’t have someone else reading your email.”
So what’s your take on it?