No weekend is free these days as we all see a wedding or two (and sometimes, three) happening at one point or the other. In fact, some people have more than two weddings to attend each Saturday. Despite the proliferation of weddings everywhere, most marry for the very wrong reasons and it makes me wonder if these couples are really ready for the lifelong commitment they were venturing into.
A wedding is a one-day event/ceremony to tie the marriage knots. Marriage is forever or meant to be forever, till death do you part. In the olden days, weddings were not celebrated as they are now – they were simple and less stressful, yet their marriages lasted longer. But these days, because with much noise and ‘elaborateness’, plus very wrong reasons, divorce is everywhere and is even more celebrated than the marriage itself.
Hardly do we see celebrities and media personalities talk about 25 years in marriage and the likes but they are quick to mention and celebrate divorce.
With this ongoing rate of divorce, I wonder if the vows they took actually meant anything to them at all. Did they even marry for the right or wrong reasons? Asides domestic violence and infidelity, which may justify divorce under the law, many marry for the wrong reasons and are soon out of it in minutes.
As an undergraduate in the university, I sat at my faculty’s quadrangle one hot afternoon to catch a quick lunch of snacks and drink before my next lecture when I overheard a group of four girls who sat behind me discussing about one of their married friend who was having issues in her marriage.
Never meant to eavesdrop on their discussion but the topic of the discussion caught my attention. One said: “I warned her not to marry that guy if she didn’t love him but she insisted saying his manhood was big and satisfies her in bed, now she has seen marriage is not all about the big manhood”.
I was both startled and shocked at the same time, wondering if the size of a man’s penis was enough reason to get married but the truth is that people go into marriage for the weirdest reasons ever. In this article, we shall highlight some of the reasons why people get married for the wrong reasons.
10 Wrong Reasons To Get Married
This was the case in the story I shared above, the lady simply married because of the sexual satisfaction she got but as at the time I was listening to that story, the marriage of about 3 years was the verge of collapse.
What many don’t understand is that marriage is really not all about the sex. In fact, I have heard stories of men who had issues with their sex organs after marriage that they could no longer their wives in bed and vice versa.
Marriage doesn’t also in any way change a man or woman with a high level of libido; we must learn to control our sexual appetite while single, thereby protecting our interest in marriage.
I am not in any way preaching against sex and marriage because the two are inseparable but sex shouldn’t be the main aim of getting married. There are are other that make up marriage aside sex. So if you have been keeping yourself, that doesn’t mean you should rush into marriage to taste the pleasure in it at the slightest chance.
A guy once said that he likes sex so much that even after getting married, he would still have girlfriends, that he doesn’t even want to stress his wife but will stress the ladies outside, for him, marriage cannot quench his thirst for more sex.
I have heard ladies who said they can’t marry a man who doesn’t have lots of money to take care of their needs. Money is good in marriage but it isn’t all that is needed to make a homework. Some have all the money they desire but are suffering in their marriages.
Surprisingly, these days, it is not just the ladies scouting for guys with loaded pocket, the guys are also into the scouting business, looking for ladies that will take up their financial responsibilities. These days you hear of guys marrying women who are old enough to be their mothers because of the financial security she offers.
Nothing is wrong in marrying a man or woman that is richer but everything is wrong if that’s why you are getting married to him/her. Money is not the best reason to get married. Money can fly away at any time. So what if he or she loses her job or business collapses?
This applies mostly to ladies, especially when their age starts clicking on 25 and above, they start feeling like they are too old and might not end up with a good person.Some people are in that category for various reasons, though.
If you have lost count of men you have dated, then you didn’t live rightly. Men sometimes think it’s cool to flirt all around and settle down at 30 so they mostly end up with a woman with troubles. You would reap what you have sown in other ladies. Don’t be in a hurry to get married. Live your life with a vision but don’t ignore marriage over career also.
To Please Parents
Sometimes we feel some of these things we watch in Nollywood movies are not real but they are. Just because your parents matched you with someone doesn’t mean it is a perfect match or you both are meant to be together (if their reasons are on selfish facts).
The truth is that your parents won’t be in the marriage, they would only celebrate the wedding and leave you to sort out yourselves afterwards.
Getting married to a person because of their beauty or physical endowments is the dumbest thing to do, it is like buying an electronic fully packaged with a carton expecting not to remove the content later on.
Beauty fades, what if something happens to the person along the line? No wonder many men starts cheating after their wives have two or three kids and have put on a little weight, with sagging breasts.
Don’t marry a woman for her hot legs and face. Don’t marry a man because of his sexy abs and smooth face. It won’t last. An inner beauty is what is required not the physical beauty. Some people marry for beauty so as to showcase a beautiful partner when necessary especially celebrities.
Mistaking Lust/Infatuation for Love
Some people get married due to an uncontrollable feeling in their bowels. They feel they can’t survive without their partner. Love is not a feeling; it’s not a spark et al. It is a decision, a choice to stick with a person with their imperfections through thick and thin.
Don’t get married because you dreamt that you were fetching water together or because she was massaging your body. Be realistic!
Some people get married to get back on their ex or friends. Simply because you had a breakup and you meet someone who is all ready for marriage, doesn’t mean you end up getting married simply to prove to your ex that you didn’t lose out.
People get married because their friends are already getting married or because they have been forcing them to settle down and join the married men/women association. Some do because of pressures from home.
Don’t get married because you were the best lady/man of all your friends and you are the only one left. Don’t do it because you are the first daughter and pressures are coming from home asking you to settle down and not block your other siblings. It’s not how far but how well.
Lonliness tops the list of wrong reasons for getting married. Don’t settle down because you feel lonely and crave for companionship. Learn to be happy with yourself not just in the arms of another. You can be married and still feel alone. I call it “Separation in Togetherness”.
Premarital pregnancy and babies, Wrong reasons! The fact that a woman is pregnant for you out of a mistake doesn’t mean you should jump into marriage. Ladies, you ended up getting pregnant and you know he doesn’t care about you or the baby, then face your life and procure a better future for yourself and the baby.
Some ladies try to hook men down with their pregnancy and later end up regretting in the marriage. Be wise! Marriage is an institution where you won’t graduate. It is an ever learning school. Love is essential but not enough to keep the marriage working. It requires the commitment from the both sides.